A VOICE…TIRED OF BEING TIRED

Have you ever  woke up pissed off at God and felt like you were tired of everything? People that claim they got your interest at heart, your job, life, meat, drinking, smoking, sticky icky, etc? Well I’m t that point now and so feed up with people who only give advice and not what you really need? It seems like every other post on my FB page is some Godly Advice of something similar, Its cool I believe and always will believe in God and understands that is the source of life but so sick of all the posts regarding waiting and being patient blah blah, it’s been 8 fn years of “being between blessings” as some people respond when I reference being not in the financial tax bracket that will allow me to live some what comfortably as I would like. Why do people say you are in a place where G wants you to be? I’m I supposed to be fucked up?

I’ve been bitter for a hot second at God for fucking up my life (yeah I know someone or a few of you may say God does not put more on you than you can handle,or he did’nt do this to me, or at least you are alive) right after blessing me with my first and only Sous Chef position at a major hotel back in 2007 and up till now cant shake it since I currently work at a place where they value profits over people and quality so unlike past employers like The Ritz Carlton where you can actually witness  employees living the companies core values everyday. I have never hated a job more than the one I currently am blessed with having, notice I said job.”i love my job sooo much that I dont consider it a job.” Those are the words that I hope to say one day soon, I cant  see myself working in a place where I’m  barely earning a living in addition to learning, and to make matters worse I’m not able to spend time with my son for Christmas four years and counting because of company policy that know one can take their vacation during the holidays regardless if their family stays out of state.

I ONCE thought that moving back to Atlanta would be a come up, boy was I wrong, I’ve discovered like others before me that Atlanta is full of people that talk a good game but bullshit, I may have even bull shitted a couple of times  myself frankly don’t have the time or patience for any longer. To some it may seem that I complain a lot but what I find funny is that they(maybe you) love to give advice, some spiritual and some not saying things like “if you don’t like your job get a new one” “save up and move” in my head I’m like ok, you have two fn legs and it’s easy for you to say dumb shit like that. I know there is always someone in a worse position than yours truly but how many amputee chefs have you seen? I know two others and only one of the two Chef Carey Bringle  is an Above The Knee Amputee and he owns his place up in “Cashville TN”.

I’ve applied to well over 200 plus restaurants,hotels, country clubs including a few where I worked and left in good standing(lol) when I had two feet and the result is always the same once I was either asked why I have a gap in my work history or walk with a limp. Stupidly for some reason I thought I could turn to fellow African American Chefs would give me a chance but most of them gave me no chance and the one that did hired me as a prep cook in a kitchen where my managers(sous chefs) didn’t have 2% of  the culinary knowledge and believe it or not had to call me to the line to flip an Egg Over Easy because they couldn’t do it and had the nerve to cut my hours. So as a result over the last few years  I have been struggling each month trying to get my name out there through participating in Atlanta Underground Market monthly ‘pop ups’ where finding a reliable partner for both it and  the underground supper club have been very frustrating. I’ve reached out to fellow cooks who claim they want to step away from corporate and partner up as well as reached out to up and coming event planners who don’t value the importance of having dinner parties and even try to screw me over for culinary services like trying to pay me a lousy $100 to cook for 4 hours for 25 people in the hot sun B I’ve had the honor of working for Diann Valentine , in addition to working banquets at Five Star Properties and even Legendary Events( fkrs had me come back to cause they were gonna rehire me till the Sous saw my prosthetic, then everything changed to that we will get back to you bs, to the cook we thought was leaving decided not to leave crap) out who are you? I’ve had a couple invite me into their home after telling me how much they spent at a local restaurant only to have her(the bragging wife) try to pay me $50 to cook in their home as well as a comedian who expected me to cook for four days on set for 25 people with a total budget of $400 expecting me not to take my cut cause it would look good on my resume, lol cash looks good in my pocket mf!!!

I cant afford to wait any longer,I know God has my back, I believe in myself, my culinary skills, my corny sense of humor, and those who truly support me. I know my food is thoughtfully delicious and that although I now work at a bs grocery store that I have the ability to pump out anything from Modern American Cuisine( Tweezer Cuisine with 5 cooks or more to every plate, not really my thing) toso called New Southern,New World to glorified stoner  fare. It’s time for me to unfortunately do the best I can solo until the right partner comes along that is feed up  as much as I am who really wants to step out on faith and make not only make money, but a name for themselves and help me bring caring, passionate foodies together for the benefit of culinary freedom.as well as for the benefit of others along our journey. Is it you? Do you know anyone who wants their culinary voice heard as much as I do the underdog,The Amputee Chef in Transition?

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